‘A stream of thought’.

More than ever, I'm constantly asking myself the same question: Where do I fit in the categories of thought and feeling? How much weight does this thought and feeling of existing between you and yourself hold? What is it measured by the soul, the body, or the psyche?

Are these the only three factors that contribute to having a self, this unknown word that I’m always searching for, the "I"? As a creative person, I feel an obligation to know thyself. I believe it is an artist's duty to explore the deepest parts of themselves the darkest shades of shadow and the lightest shades of light. This means accepting yourself fully and completely, and understanding that this is a difficult journey. It’s like living with intense hyper-saturation, constantly battling your own self-deprecating, egotistical self-loathing. I am a spiral of millions of moments of the Now.

To create is not only to tell or show something from yourself. This personal ritual is so strong within me that I call it a divine intervention; it’s a feeling of euphoria and ecstasy that your body just cannot resist. As I confront many images of myself, I ask the question: Why? Why do I need to constantly refine, reinvent, and remake myself? It feels like a drug that I cannot stop wanting or needing, and I derive a perverse satisfaction from it. I am like a sponge that you can throw the whole ocean into, and it is still not full. I have always thought that things that are not complete touch perfection. I can only describe this feeling through someone else's words on perfection, from a book I read that is a stream of consciousness. The book is called Aqua Viva by Clarice Lispector, an author who helped me find meaning in madness.

“What is a mirror? It is an invented material that is natural. Whoever looks at a mirror, whoever manages to see it without seeing themselves, whoever understands that its depth consists of being empty whoever walks inside its transparent space without leaving the trace of their own image upon it has understood the mystery of things.

For that to happen, one must surprise it when it is alone, when it’s hanging in an empty room, without forgetting that the finest needle before it can transform the simplest image of a needle. So sensitive is the mirror and its quality of the lightest reflection. Only the image, not the body. The body of the thing, its form, does not matter; no form manages to circumscribe and alter it. A tiny piece of mirror is always the whole mirror; removing it from its frame or the line of its edges, it grows like spilling water.”

With her words, I feel a sense of completeness, a lack of need for separation. Every piece of me is a complete piece a reflection within me that I always find empty.

The embrace of ourselves

Time passes. Time changes everything -- both the things in our lives that we're grateful to move on from and the things that we try to clutch tightly and must, inevitably, someday, let go of.

"We all lose everything,"

We lose
ourselves…. Slowly our body’s

 We are lost.
Only what we manage to do
lasts, what love sculpts from us...

 I always thought about time and self-healing and how deeply it effects my work .My day to day interactions with people. How much my art reflects me? Dose it changes me ? Dose it heal me? In the pursuit of authentic self-expression, emotions become the heartbeat that resonates through every photograph. Whether it's the quiet reflection of solitude, the exuberance of joy, or the melancholy of introspection, my self-portraits become a mirror reflecting the spectrum of my own experience. Creating artwork can be a deeply cathartic experience, one that allows me to purge all of their emotional tensions. By externalizing the emotions i feel and pour them into my artwork, im able to let go of whatever feelings have been holding me back, transforming them into a visual work that i can then share with others who might be feeling the same burdens.

Photography, for me, is not merely a mechanical process but an artistic endeavor that breathes life into the moments I choose to capture. In my photography and video art I try to represent the shared unconscious dreaming and corresponding transformations in energy, emotion, and thought that is a profound and essential part of bearing witness. Bearing witness is an ordinary and ongoing human process. We all do it. We bear witness to our own lives; we bear witness to the lives of others; we need others to bear witness to our lives.

Perhaps as a creative being that makes art hyper-aware of time and mortality; or perhaps it's simply one aspect of living as visual creator : I am always looking both backwards and forwards, living in the rich past and shimmering future as well as the sensual present, in order to make art out of the experiences of my life, and to make life out of the experiences of my art.

 The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. But for the writer or artist, it does all happen at once. Time is not linear in art-making; we constantly walk backwards and forwards as we draw upon all of our experiences, all of our past and future selves, to create each day's work in the here and now. Time does not change us. It just unfolds us.  Perhaps as we travel the road of time we're not so much aging or changing but unfurling like leaves; unfolding like flowers, petal by petal.

A Journey through the Lens

In a world where perceptions are often filtered through the lens of societal expectations, I find solace and empowerment in expressing my emotions through art. As a creator immersed in the realms of photography and video, I have discovered a unique avenue for self-expression that transcends the boundaries set by the male gaze.

The male gaze, a concept that has long dominated the arts and media, that the world is seen from a predominantly male perspective, shaping how women are viewed and represented. In this narrative, women are often objectified and confined to societal expectations, leaving little room for individuality and self-expression. As an artist, I grapple with the awareness of this gaze, and yet, I have found a transformative power in utilizing my body to convey a more authentic and nuanced portrayal of myself.

Through the lens of my camera, I embark on a journey of self-discovery, dismantling the preconceived notions imposed by societal norms. My art becomes a mirror reflecting not only the physicality of my being but also the emotions and vulnerabilities that lie beneath the surface. I use my body as a canvas, challenging the traditional narratives and inviting viewers to witness a more profound and unfiltered version of myself.

In this process, I've come to understand that my body is not merely an object to be observed; it is a vessel for the complex interplay of emotions, experiences, and self-love. Through the act of self-portraiture, I reclaim control over the narrative, steering away from the confines of external judgment. The camera becomes a tool for empowerment, allowing me to communicate my emotions and perspectives on my terms.

As I navigate the creative landscape, I realize that my art is a declaration of self-acceptance and defiance against the limitations imposed by societal expectations. The male gaze, once a restrictive force, has become a catalyst for self-exploration and expression. I am not defined by the expectations of others; I am the curator of my own narrative, crafting a story that transcends the confines of societal norms.

I invite others to join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment. By sharing my experiences and perspectives, I hope to inspire a shift in perception, encouraging others to embrace their own uniqueness beyond the constraints of societal expectations. In a world saturated with the male gaze, my art becomes a testament to the transformative power of self-expression and the liberation found in embracing one's authentic self.

Welcome to my inner world

"Emotions Unveiled: Exploring the Canvas of My Visual Art ."

In a world brimming with words and noise, there exists a language more profound, a language that transcends the barriers of culture, creed, and tongue. It's the language of art, and my visual art website serves as a gateway to this mesmerizing realm of emotions, a place where colors, shapes, and imagery converge to speak the unspeakable, to whisper the profound, and to shout the silent. Welcome to my world; welcome to a journey of self-expression through self-made visual art.

Art, at its core, is about evoking emotions, and my visual art is no exception. Every stroke of the brush, every frame in a video, each piece of art on my website is a heartfelt endeavor to unravel the intricacies of human emotion. It's a canvas where feelings are meticulously woven into the fabric of creativity, and the result is a mesmerizing tapestry of human experience.

When I first embarked on this artistic journey, it was not merely a pursuit of self-expression but an exploration of the myriad emotions that course through our lives. Each image tells a story, a narrative of a moment in time when emotions were raw, unfiltered, and genuine.

This website is a repository of this narrative, a digital gallery where emotions are laid bare. Here, you can explore a spectrum of human experiences, from the darkest corners of despair to the brightest rays of hope. Each artwork, each video is an invitation to embark on a visual and emotional journey – a journey where you can see the world through my eyes, wrapped in the hues of my emotions.

But what makes this endeavor truly unique is that every piece, every image, and every video is self-made. It's a manifestation of my deepest feelings and experiences, and that authenticity adds another layer of depth to the art. It's a testament to the fact that emotions are universal, and by sharing my experiences, I hope to connect with others who may have felt the same.

Art, like emotions, is an ever-evolving process. My visual art website is not just a static collection; it's a living, breathing entity, growing and changing as I grow and change. It's a diary of emotions, a diary that is open for you to read, experience, and connect with. As you explore the pages and view the images and videos, I hope you find resonance with the emotions and stories they convey.

Ultimately, my visual art website is a tribute to the power of the human spirit and the language of emotions. It's a testament to the beauty of self-expression, the universality of emotions, and the magic of art. Through this platform, I invite you to join me on this journey, to delve into the colors and shapes that define the human experience, and to discover the boundless world of emotions through the images and artistic videos that tell the stories of our lives. It's a heartfelt offering from me to you, and I hope it touches your heart and soul as much as it has touched mine.